People are always on my mind – the people I interact with, the people I’m yet to interact with and those I have already. And when I think about them, I recall just how many of them I actually trusted and confided in during a period of my life where I was all too familiar with disappointment. I recall zero; I expected to be let down.
Expectation is so conclusive. Possibility embraces the burning fires of something great while leaving the door open for the icy draft of disappointment – welcoming a warm medium.
There was a time when I was so uncomfortable being vulnerable with absolutely anyone, even people I called my friends, even my family. I suppose I feared rejection or judgment or the sickening truth in that I never really believed anyone would actually care about the words I so feared to speak. It was all so personal.
I didn’t want to give my all to somebody just to be left stranded without anything precious to keep for myself, I built up a personality based on this and kept surface level relationships and friendships, passing things of as light-hearted and never engaging in a conversation where I felt too naked.
Then I met someone I loved very much, and I called my mum crying.
I knew that to make this relationship work, I had to change and become more available. I knew that but I didn’t know how to do that. I truly believe it was some of the best advice my mum could’ve given me, she said: “Georgia, allow her to be your soulmate.”
In those seven words, I finally understood that I was going to have to give my all at the risk of being let down. Because I quite like being warm. And this was advice I would apply to friendships too, even more so.
I’ve reaped as much benefit as I have detriment – and I learnt so much – I leant that it means something to trust in someone who deserves it and to allow for the cold possibility of disappointment.
Since then, I’m certain that I’ll do everything with my entire being, and you should too. Throw yourself into things that you really believe in, and if it doesn’t work out you know that you did everything you could to make the best of it. It was only when I accepted this fact that I truly started living and loving right.
Consider yourself blessed at the possibility of being let down by the people you trust to surround yourself with. Every day I live, I am more and more sure of who my people are and who are not. Everyone shows their true colours eventually, so give them that chance if you deem them deserving of your time.
And if their true colours are not to your liking, consider it your first, final and only straw. Shut the door on them.