28. Making the best of a bad situation, and drawing back the curtain.

These days it seems like trauma is everywhere, writhing between a kind of grief that comes with wishing you worked certain things out sooner, because now you’re left with the invalidating imprint of the past. And it’s invalidating because if left unchecked, you begin to spiral into a state of constant self-questioning: how has this situation shaped you for the worst? There’s no dictating how or when the lasting effects of a bad situation unveil themselves – in some cases, that’s up to you.

It goes without saying that trauma’s favourite hiding place is by an open window. Allow me to explain. Here, its body and face remain half concealed by an ever-billowing curtain. Know that what’s easily moved by the breeze may not be as easily moved by you, but it’s the act of making intentional, conscious change for yourself which shows you who you really are. And luckily, what’s carried in the breeze is an option – well, maybe a few.

You could get up and shut the window. In doing that, you’ll find that somehow the curtain still moves – and maybe it’s a draft, or maybe you should’ve worried less about closing the window and focused more on drawing back the drapes.

Address your trauma by looking it in the face and asking it every question you’ve ever wanted to know the answer to – it will answer you honestly if you ask it with likewise integrity. And this process can take a while, if not years, sometimes a lifetime. Sometimes the curtain is just that heavy.

The only way to move forwards is to make the best of a bad situation and the shadows it casts. Situations that leave such trauma are the ones to learn the most from; they are valuable to acknowledge to ensure they never happen again. This requires a greater strength that can only come from within, and there has to be enough of it to see how deserving you are of hope.

The bare truth is that you never would’ve known how strong you are if you hadn’t been tested in such a way. Confront what resides behind the drapes, don’t let it linger and haunt the house you live in. After such a worthy battle with both fabric and the past that has made you today, you’ll find you’ve learnt a whole lot by letting it teach you.

Maybe confronting the things that lurk is your best option, plus, it was getting far too cold in here. How are you not freezing? With what’s left having been reduced to something less than daunting, give it a good kick out the window and shut it properly – notice how still the curtains are.

“There’s no dictating how or when the lasting effects of a bad situation unveil themselves – in some cases, that’s up to you.”