18. To dwell, or not to dwell.

To dwell, or not to dwell, that is the question – well, here’s the answer, don’t. When it comes to dwelling about things from the past, ask anyone who knows me, I am ever so passionately against it. I see it as a bottomless pit of doubt and regret; among it all, there is you – with a choice.

Let’s say you just climbed your way out of said pit. A cool breeze hits your face and you’re able to breathe again as you dust off your jeans. You take a glace back, down into the hole. You can now see it all, fully for what it was. You can now see there were about 8 other ways to climb out, half of which were far easier than the ways you settled on. Will you stand there and dwell over the choices you made? Or will you make a note for next time and enjoy the fresh air?

I found that the past drives me forwards, because I’ve tailored it to do so. There is not one thing I’ve done or been through that hasn’t taught me something that I can apply to present and future situations. I hate dwelling because it has no positive purpose – it’s unhelpful.

I regret nothing and learn everything from it. That’s not to say I haven’t made mistakes in my life so far – but none of them have been so terrible as to force me to a stop that hinders my growth into moving on wiser.

The act of moving on is one so precious. You have to acknowledge what happened, process that, and tell yourself – all things considered – I have to keep going.

Dwelling, to me, is just another form of ache and a gateway into pain. When you’re bruised, do you press hard on it for too long? Or just once to know that you won’t be pressing on it again anytime soon. Time will heal; the bigger the bruise the longer it takes.  

You cannot change the past, but you can put things in place now knowing that you’ll do things differently. Deep between the nettle-like negativity are the lessons you know for next time; maybe one of them is that there won’t be a next time. I support looking back in a way that’s laced with positivity, only to make those notes.

But there will always be a next time, in a way you’ll least expect. You’ll have another chance to prove to yourself that while things change, you did too.

The past is behind you for a reason. You’ll miss so much of what is right in front of you if you keep turning back to look.

When you’re bruised, do you press hard on it for too long? Or just once to know that you won’t be pressing on it again anytime soon.