21. Laissez-faire language.

You may be familiar with the phrase “actions speak louder than words,” which is a valid point when deciphering a person’s integrity: rather show something than say you are going to show something. Though, for a while now, I’ve believed that “words speak louder than actions.”

This is because a person has given their innermost thoughts a voice – which will forever be more honest than exterior action, unless, of course, they lie. Believing in this might sound like I’m actively setting myself up to take people’s word for gospel, however, I only believe it because people have the ability to lie.

It tells you a lot more about a person’s character if they choose to use their words, spoken or written, to lie to you. Because unbeknownst to them, they’re proving their action right there. Not only does it show you that they are sneaky, but also totally disrespectful to think that you would be fooled.

In retrospect, actions and words coincide in this way. Unless a person is being completely honest with you, lying is very much an action they chose to do. Don’t be a fool!

Another phrase you might’ve heard before is “words are spells,” and I think it is such an interesting concept. It highlights the power of what we say and the impacts it has on people and ourselves. Certain strings of words can literally alter a person’s emotional and physical being. Just a couple words could ruin or make someone’s entire day. That’s cool as hell.

Like I said, words are our innermost thoughts which is not something to take lightly. Notice that continually speaking negatively about yourself or lying to yourself about your good qualities will have you believing it. You’ll cast a spell or two if you’re not careful. Not even just how you speak about yourself, but how you speak to yourself impacts you in ways that are tricky to backtrack. So, start now, kindly, by integrating some positivity into your mother tongue.

There will come times where you’ll drop a cup or have an awkward interaction or miss your train and you’ll catch yourself saying: Ugh, I’m so clumsy. Ugh, I’m so annoying. Ugh, I can’t even catch a train on time.

Break from the routine of laissez-faire language and watch what you say: I’m not clumsy, the cup just slipped. I’m not annoying, I’m human and I’ll try again tomorrow. That train was never meant to be – there will be another one.

You’re not a robot. Enough beating yourself up about things through your words, because unlike metal, you bruise. This is a long lesson that’ll last a lifetime, but ugh, I’m glad I’m living it.

“Break from the routine of laissez-faire language and watch what you say.”