The single best thing I’ve done for myself was decide I deserve to be of a happy mind. If you want to see something happen for yourself, its no-good hoping if you have no intention of putting things in place to fulfil those hopes.
Dealing with it once you get there will never work, because you won’t get there. Since when did you decide to loiter in your own life? You are you right now. And you’ve never been in a better place to start building the foundation of who you want to be every day from now.
Understand the copious amounts of work that is needed to ready yourself to be the best version of yourself, not even for your peace of mind, but for those around you; for those you want to establish friendships and relationships with.
I used to be such a glass half empty person – believing I was destined for no more than a mediocre sadness which I felt would emanate off me for the rest of my life.
These feelings, these beliefs, were mostly charged by experiences in my upbringing which hardened and solidified as I grew older, encompassing such an integral part of what I am. And what I am is something much bigger than the weight of the past. I am the present – and so are you – and that is all we can ever be right now.
I finally decided that I’m never going to be happy if I keep choosing to be sad – just because of how easy it is – just because it feels like home.
The first of many steps towards this was putting my all into short-term therapy. And it was uncomfortable, but I knew it had to work. My biggest problem was thinking I knew how best to deal with myself by sticking to routines of not opening up to people and hating everyone around me for being unworthy of trust.
I got off my high horse and found, luckily, I didn’t need months of session after session – I knew the things I wanted to talk about; I had spent my whole life assessing my own problems and this was my chance at being heard. I wanted it to work, and I was going to make it happen.
You cannot have what you’re not ready for, and by the time you work that out you’ll see how it crumbles in your hands. So, get ready. You are beyond capable of anything, and so it’s worth your time to break from what has shaped you so you can begin shaping yourself.
I learnt that the most uncomfortable thing for me to do was abandon the safety of everything I knew and create a more habitable state for me to grow in. Because ultimately, it’s one thing to ask for something and it’s another thing to put yourself in a position to receive it.