2. Be a “Bitch.”

For so long, “being a bitch” was the last thing I ever wanted to be. That was until I chose to rebrand the phrase to match my mindset when I find myself stuck in the rut of people-pleasing. By using such an “in your face” turn of phrase, I feel the freedom of putting myself first. My version of “being a bitch” is simply having boundaries for certain situations and for certain people.

I’ve grown up riddled with empathy, which is both my greatest asset and my biggest flaw. I came from an emotional household, where calling out one’s wrongdoings caused copious amount of upset. So doing so seemed malicious, or in other words, bitchy. And I was raised to be kind.

Now, I’ve come to learn that there is such a thing as being too kind; because there will forever be someone who will take advantage of it. Not everyone is deserving of your time, and the sooner you realise this, the more time you have for yourself.

Your energy is beautifully infectious. Without boundaries, the wrong person will drain this energy, absorbing all the good parts of you while leaving you with all the bad parts of them. Negative energy is contagious; it’s a virus and it makes me sick. Why would I wear a mask around someone I do not like? As they cough and splutter their negativity. Why would you? Create your first boundary and distance yourself from the virus. Be blunt with yourself – be a “bitch.”

Do you like this person? If not, don’t waste your time on them anymore. Forget the awkward intricacies that fog over the facts in front of you. Create those boundaries; let those who have never been told “no” think whatever they want, it’s none of your concern. Confrontation has always caused a friction deep in my chest, even today, but I’ve come to realise that getting to that point is so necessary because it stands for something. It marks a disagreement of which you have two choices: you can either sit with it, letting it consume you, or you can do something about it.

It matters what you do, it always has. So never be nasty to others. Never stoop to a level you do not consider your own. Instead, be clear and honest, first with yourself and then outwardly. Accumulate traits of self-assurance, self-worth and self-preservation by putting a foot down. So, walk out of that room you don’t want to be in. Block that person who is getting on your nerves – because what are they doing on your phone getting on your nerves? More importantly, what are they still doing in your life? Dedicate no more of your time and energy onto those who are undeserving.

Adopt this blunt mindset to help you out of an energy-sapping rut. Keep it simple – be a “bitch.”

‘Not everyone is deserving of your time, and the sooner you realise this, the more time you have for yourself‘