11. People have been lessons.

Something cool I’ve learnt is that every person I’ve ever met has been a lesson – the only thing is, I’ve never realised this in the moments of knowing them – which I think is quite sweet; reminiscing is the key to unlocking all they taught you. Good and bad, whether they realise it or not. And for that, I think love people.

This is especially groundbreaking for me because as a teenager I thought I hated people. I struggled to see any good in anyone and I’d verbalise it to the point that it became my catchphrase around the house. So often people would let me down, some of which I didn’t even know but I’d internalise that disappointment until it fermented into hate. I truly believe I learnt this from my father which just wasn’t going to work out in the long run for me; I’m thankful that I saw the errors in that and am at where I am today.

I think it’s better getting to know someone without knowing what they have in store for you because the chances are they don’t even know themselves. There’s proper beauty in that. Over the years, I’ve met all kinds of people and though I’m not fond of every single one, I am grateful for them all and the lessons they have embodied.

To the person who held my face when I’ve been too tearful to speak, thank you for teaching me patience.

To the person I’m not friends with anymore, thank you for teaching me what real laughter was.

To the people who would shout and scream and hit, thank you for showing me how I never want to be.

Among the kinds of people you meet, there are the kinds of people you keep – or try too, at least. You should never enter a relationship (friendship or otherwise) expecting to be offered something.

There are different types of friendships you will encounter, and not all of them are meant to be your ride or die. Some connections you make with people are intended to be surface level, whereas others have depth and you can learn to be okay with this co-existence; I used to think I had to give my all to every person I came across, but that’s exhausting, totally unnecessary with only myself to blame. Never wish for more from someone when it’s not presented in the moment, you gain nothing and lose just about everything.

As an adult, I’ve been blessed with a solid group of women who speak their mind, who have the best sounding laughs known to man – and who care. They’re the whole package which I never would’ve found if I settled for any less, and I get to call them my friends.

“reminiscing is the key to unlocking all they taught you.”